As we begin this dark journey, this is the character background from the perspective of the psychopath himself. He has a detached perspective of reality and distances himself from the person he portrays. This is a skill of any developed writer, but when this skill is applied outside of fiction and into the real world that's where things become a fair bit questionable.
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Weekly Kaelus Player: (Psychopath)
April 24, 2013
Interview with (Psychopath)
Character Name: (Psychopath)
Character Type: Fighting Slave
Usual On-Line times: 7PM-12AM SLT
What brought you to SL RP, how long have
you been here, and what avenues of such have you explored?
I didn't start on IRC like so many of
the older Gorean SL roleplayers did. I
actually first got introduced to graphically-based roleplay environments by an
old D&D game called Neverwinter Nights. There was a favorite server I
visited. Small crowd but fun. Then one day the administrators of the server
started showing up less and less. They'd left an explanation but I, being
somewhat disengaged from the RL of other players, didn't learn until a couple
weeks later that they had, in fact, started playing in SL. They shared a few
pictures and, of course, in terms of available content, graphics, and
just...well...possibility of all sorts, SL was just obviously far superior.
That's when I decided to come check it out. That was back near the end of 2008.
Since then I've explored RP in several forms, often (but not always) focusing
around BDSM themes in CARP sims, post-apocalyptic environments, but, really,
the vast majority of my roleplay has been done in Gor.
What turns you on intellectually and
emotionally about RP?
Hmmm...Intellectually is the easier part
to answer here. My undergrad degree is in English Lit with an emphasis on
creative writing and I'm within a few months of receiving my Master's in the
same. Roleplay has provided me with incredible opportunities to see work from
many talented writers...and of course many who couldn't string a full sentence
together with a keyboard even when threatened with death by dictionary.
Strangely enough, both have had a profound effect on my development of my own
writing skills. The former, obviously, because they inspire. The latter because
they provide me with examples of what I definitely -don't- want to do. Some of
the mistakes I see in their writing I can actually pick out (in a perhaps more
subtle form) in my own. It's sort of helped me develop a stronger sense of my
own aesthetic. It kind of worked the same way when I read my first book of Gor.
I know some players are going to hate me for saying it but I didn't have a very
good handle on what constituted -bad- writing (I'd spent so much time being
exposed to the literary canon) until I read Norman. And I really should -thank-
him...albeit he'd no doubt find it perverse. Oh and just as a disclaimer to try
and ward off a lynching, Norman's ideas can't be denied as having a strong
appeal and it was gutsy of him to put them out there. I don't necessarily agree
with most of them but I can admire that kind of courage which is why I actually
find myself enjoying at least the books that were ghost-written (the
distinction in style is pretty obvious).
The emotional aspect of that question is
a kind of dangerous one. When roleplaying, everyone knows that emotions can get
pretty charged and there's the very real possibility (all too often turned to
fact) of people getting angry or hurt--the barrier between the character and
the writer collapses (if it was ever there at all). As a writer it's possible
I'm a little more sensitive to this fact than most; it's something of an axiom
that a writer has to get his own ass out of the way of the story he's trying to
tell (or if you wanted to sound a bit more mystical about it, the story that is
trying to be told through him or her). It's far too easy to put one's own voice
into the characters one writes...one's psyche...one's views, indeed, make a
character -into- oneself. Or, perhaps even more dangerously, make a character
into what one would -like- oneself to be. So when things turn sour for that
character it's not just us but our fantasy of the best "us" we can be
that is under attack. That kind of emotional engagement is a serious threat to
the integrity of the story being told in roleplay (not to mention conducive to
a lot of nasty OOC grief). Now, recognizing that fact, I must also recognize
that I, too, am guilty of this. It's -hard- to separate oneself, even in the
instance of the character I play now--a fighting slave, which those who know me
will understand very well is pretty far removed the character of the typist. Of
course not all emotional engagement in roleplay is a bad thing. I would say,
then, that when I'm most "turned on" emotionally is when roleplay
works the way it's -supposed- to; when two (or more) people come together with
characters they've developed and weave together a story that is engaging and
believable. Not just a bunch of beautifully written posts but posts that
actually weave and mesh together to create the fabric of an actualy -story-. In
fact I'll take that kind of "meshing" over "beautifully
written" any day. Even when writing alone, it's exciting to see a story
taking shape in your mind. When this happens (a thing all too rare) with other
writers, writing together it's that same excitement doubled because you know
they're feeling it too. It's kinda like sex in that way. Sure you can get off
on your own and it feels great. But everyone knows it's better with a partner.
And hey, when you can get more than one such partner rp'ing at the same time?
ORGY!
How would you describe your RP style?
I've actually never really thought about
that before....I mean, beyond the distinction between para and one-liner. It's
pretty obvious into which of those categories I fall. I'd actually call it
"variable" depending a great deal on the person with whom I'm
interacting. I think a lot of us understand this; if we aren't inspired by the
person(s) playing with us, our style tends to grow a bit lack-luster. Most whom
I've talked to recognize that they write better when their partner writes
better. So perhaps I ought to call it "symbiotically variable." But,
laying aside the distinctions of "better or worse," I'm trying to
think of elements that hold true for my RP through all these scenarios. The
first thing that comes to mind is a bit of a boring answer. I'd say my RP is
"technically conservative" which I would translate as meaning
"anal on the subject of spelling and grammar." And by now I'm sure
anyone reading this is eagerly looking forward to going through this interview
again and picking out every typo, mispelling, grammatical error and word
conflation that I've made. My friends are usually quite gleeful in pointing
them out to me when I make them. Occupational hazard, I guess. :\ What else,
then...? I -do- try for a certain sort of "beauty" in what I write.
I'm quite capable (and it's something against which I have to guard) of waxing
almost lyrical. You know...flowery and lush and the kind of thing you'd expect
to see in Romantic poetry or Rococo art. So actually I try -not- to do that,
aiming instead for a starker, harsher kind of beauty. If you were to think of
it in visual terms, on the one hand you've got a lush valley meadow populated
by lots of happy bunnies and fawns with verdant grass, cool, clear ponds, lush
evergreen trees, an explosion of wildflowers and a naked pair in the midst of
it all swearing eternal love. Above that you have an impassable mountain range,
edged against the sky, that will kill anything that tries to pass over it. I
want my style to lean more toward those mountains.
Tell us a little about your character's
background and how he has evolved up to the present. What are his goals and
needs in life?
He first hit the roleplay scene in an
old incarnation of Imperial Ar. The first one run by (Person A) and (Person B)
around the time that Spartacus: Blood and Sand finished it's season. There was
a bit of a craze for gladiators. In fact I believe (Person A and Person B) went
on from there to create a sim based on Capua. In any case, I don't actually
remember the background I gave him back then. I think maybe he was from the
North? It didn't really matter too much at the time since I really only brought
him online for tournaments. Was busy with my man avatar's rp in the same city.
I do recall that his owner in Ar (who would probably not appreciate my using
her name) took a bit of a fancy to him and so his life in the ludus wasn't
terribly difficult. That was at least two years ago now. He was named (Psychopath)
back then. When that sim went under, I let the character rest and, for the most
part, stayed out of roleplay for the past couple years (feeling myself rather
jaded with the direction I saw Gorean rp going). I'd pop my head in here and
there, read a sim's rules, try a bit of rp, roll my eyes and leave. My
experience with Kaelus didn't go that way. And when I saw they were doing a
fighting slave rp, I thought perhaps it was time to bring (Psychopath) out of
retirement. A few IMs and an avatar makeover (thank you, Person C) later and I
was in the role.
I redid his background to be Taharian. A
builder whose buisness of building wagon caravans was threatening the top
builder in Tor. He landed a contract to build an ornate carriage for a member
of the royal family--nephew to the sultan. This jealous rival then saw to it
that the carriage was sabotaged on it's maiden tour of the city. A wheel fell
off and threw the boy into the street. He was unharmed but the result of this
was enslavement for the carriage's designer and builder--(Psychopath) (though I
would assume he had a different name at
the time...just think of something more Arab-sounding). He was collared and,
irony of ironies, loaded onto one of his own wagons to be shipped off to Ar
where bloodsport was just seeing a comeback. With few fighting slaves in the
city (since the ludi had had little time to train them since resurgence of the
games) Ar bought a large number of slaves to participate in a grand melee.
Every man untrained and every man for himself. They were given mostly makeshift
weapons (peasant tools and such since to give them actual weapons of war, being
both slaves and untrained for combat, would have made a mockery out of the
warrior caste). The last man standing was to be freed. Archers were placed
along the edge of the arena to shoot any slave who would not fight. And so they
fought to the last man standing. (Psychopath) was -not- that man. That man, who
had just won his freedom, succumbed to his wounds within minutes. (Psychopath) had
fallen with the others who, maimed as they were, were expected to die, quickly
or slowly. They were to be sleen fodder. But a young woman who had recently
invested in a defunct ludus had seen him fight and, for whatever reason, was
impressed with him. She spared him from that fate, saw his wounds tended, gave
him his slave name, and had him trained even to the point where he once won the
title of Champion of Ar.
This is turning out way longer than I'd
expected. :\
Ok...So in Ar he was something of a rock
star. He never lost his bitterness at being enslaved by such treachery. Indeed
he preserved it along with what he could of his masculine pride. He still
doesn't fully see himself as a slave though he's often reminding himself of the
fact, internally, to keep himself in line and his hands off the throats of free
men and women who anger him. He's developed a sense of personal honor that
can't quite countenance the ignominious death that would undoubtedly be result
of such an attack. Even so, his fighting prowess has allowed him, sometimes, to
get away with displays that might very well have ordinarily resulted in his
death. He's never physically attacked a free but he has shown disrespect and
scorn from time to time. It's been permitted within limits by his owners
because they recognize that his fighting spirit is critical to his success in
the arena. I often liken it to falconry. A falconer doesn't "tame" a
raptor--doesn't make a pet of it--if he wants it to hunt. A bird of prey, in a
skilled falconer's hands, remains a bird of prey. (Psychopath), therefore,
being untamed, is -always- struggling against his slavery and is very often
reaching the limits of his chain and being snapped back. It's a life of having
his pride continually nourished and then crushed back down to size again--but
never quite obliterated yet.
He hasn't had much time in Kaelus yet
(only a 3 weeks or so) but such is his life there. In that time he's been given
the name of (Psychopath), won one tournament, gotten a passion slave to fall
absolutely in love with him, and pissed off his Mistress to the point of
denying him his daily training and forcing him to wear silks and be seen and
mocked as a silk slave (which has led to a vicious assault on his Mistress'
other slave who indulged in such mockery). His pride is hanging by a thread
just now. He wants his Mistress dead...badly. But does he want it badly enough
basically suffer that same, ignominious death in order to kill her? Does he
wait? Bide his time? Hope that even a slave might make a few political
maneuvers that would end up with his Mistress enslaved or dead? Perhaps even
freeing himself in the process? How much more of this can his pride take--how
much can it be nourished by these faint, mad hopes--before he is, indeed,
broken and becomes no more than a silk slave? That's where (Psychopath)'s at
right now.
